Tony's Imaginary Bike
by binkeybella
Summary: A seemingly innocent lesson turns into a minor battle between Tony and his boss. Set about 2 years after Tony comes to work for Gibbs and NCIS, and not long after Kate joins the team.


Title: Tony's Imaginary Bike  
Rating: T for language  
Angst/Family  
Tony D. & J. Gibbs

Summary: A seemingly innocent lesson turns into a minor battle between Tony and his boss. Set about 2 years after Tony comes to work for Gibbs and NCIS, and not long after Kate joins the team.

**A/N: Thanks so much to Gotgoats for betaing this, and to all of you who read, review, favorite and follow my stories! Also, no offense to motorcyclists out there, I enjoy riding them myself, but they ARE rather risky, and it was a good hot button for Gibbs.**

Ducky knew that in the heat of the battle, warriors often didn't realize when they were mowing down innocent bystanders. Thus, he usually cut his co-workers some slack when getting nearly bowled over by one or two of them bolting in or out of an elevator to get to a new crime scene. This warrior, however, was one Tony DiNozzo, and the M.E. was fairly certain nothing was afoot in Gibb's MCRT bullpen.

"My _word,_Anthony, _really now!" _He chided. "What has you in such a terrible hurry?"

Tony ground to a halt outside the elevator when he realized what he had done, and turned immediately to the man, regret suddenly replacing anger in his eyes.

"Sorry, Ducky." he apologized in a quiet voice. "Just - one of those days when..."

"Nothing goes right?"

"Nothing I _do _is right! I'm too fast or too slow or too stupid or too smart-assed...I don't understand why he keeps me on his team - or why he ever _wanted _ me, for that matter! If he doesn't like me, why doesn't he just _tell _me, it's not like the _first _time someone regretted hiring me!"

"My dear boy, you are beside yourself, come with me, we'll have a cup of something." he encouraged, heading through the doors of Autopsy.

"Gibbs wants me back in -"

"What are you working on right now?"

"Just stacks of cold cases, but-"

"Not to worry, I will call him myself and tell him I need you to do some heavy lifting for me in my office. Some furniture rearrangement, if you will. Leave it to me. Go on, go sit down." he directed, waving towards the old over-stuffed couch in his small personal quarters.

Tony sat, and admired the artifacts and goo gaws collected over the years by the well-traveled doctor. Something inside him started to relax, and he huffed a sigh as he slid down into the cushiony sofa. He could hear Ducky outside the door in a rather animated conversation with his boss, and for a moment, thought it might be better for everyone if he just went back to the bullpen and finished out the day, but moments later, the M.E. breezed through the door with a smile on his face.

"All is fine, Anthony, I've bought you well over an hour to put your mind on something else and de-stress for a bit. Here, let me make you some tea, I know it's not your preferred choice, but I have several different sorts of teas I think you might like, and a few biscuits I bought at that new bakery this morning."

Tony looked up at the man, eyes shining with gratitude and affection for the good doctor.

"Thanks, Ducky. I'm sorry I unloaded on you out there, sometimes I just can't take him anymore, and the worst thing is, I never know what I've done to piss him off so that I don't do it again!"

"Rest assured, Anthony, it is probably nothing you did or didn't do, the man is just incredibly inept at managing his own emotions and lets them fester until they erupt and rain down onto innocent people.'

"Uh, yeah.." Tony stuttered, looking down at the double chocolate cookie in his hand, "Maybe that wasn't the best analogy to use when you're serving someone food..."

Ducky tipped his head back in laughter, and readied two tea cups while the electric pot heated the water.

"Yes, I see what you mean, Anthony, perhaps a better choice of words next time. But you understand what I mean, nonetheless."

"Does he - has he ever said to you whether or not he actually likes me, or if he's just keeping me on the team cause he doesn't want to prove Morrow and Fornell wrong about hiring me like he did?"

"I _assure_you, my young friend, Jethro is very _fond _of you, and although that sounds a bit _lame _as you young folk might say, it is saying quite a lot about you. For Jethro to accept anyone inside his circle is rare. You yourself know how limited his social skills are."

"Limited, Duck? More like Stone Age."

"Yes, well. You also know that there is much _more_to the man than his social and verbal inadequacies. And you are more to him than one of his subordinates, _much _more, although admitting it to anyone, including himself, is also beyond his capabilities."

Tony looked doubtful and took a bite of his cookie, demolishing almost all of it in that one mouthful, as Ducky looked on indulgently. He knew Gibbs discouraged DiNozzo from eating many sweets while at work, but Gibbs wasn't here, and Ducky could feed the boy whatever he wanted.

"I'll tell you what, Anthony. The first opportunity I get I will _prove _to you how Jethro feels about you. I know you wouldn't know the subtle differences because you haven't been here when Stanley and the others were working for him. But I promise you that you have a struck a chord deep within him, and sometimes that chord resonates back to you in ways that seem...harsh, instead of loving. But that is just his way, to express concern by showing anger. His default setting, if you will. Here is your tea, there is either sugar or honey, and the cream is in the refrigerator if you would like it."

"Just some honey, Ducky. Thanks. And thanks for letting me hide out here for a while. I just needed some time away from him before I wigged out on him."

"Of course, Anthony, I completely understand. Here, have another biscuit."

*************

It was during a leisurely lunch in their work lull that Ducky came up with his plan. They were at an outside cafe, down the street from NCIS; Gibbs, Tony, Kate and himself. He was idly watching traffic when he heard the revving of a motorcycle engine at a traffic stop.

"Tell me, Anthony, how is search going for that perfect motorbike you've been contemplating?"

Tony looked questioningly at the man, completely unprepared for such a strange question, then read the man's eyes. He was setting him up for something, but couldn't think what it might be.

"Uh...well, I...haven't found it yet, Ducky, maybe this weekend." he stuttered, trying not to sound totally off-kilter. He looked back down at his plate of crab cakes and potato salad, and heard a rumbling off to his left.

"Motorbike?" Gibbs growled. "As in motorcycle?"

"Uh, yeah, Boss, not into dirt bikes anymore, wanted something street legal and with a little more power."

"Yer not getting one."

Gibbs voice was hard and low, brooking no argument, but that tone had rarely stopped Tony before, and it didn't now. He momentarily forgot the purpose of Ducky's ruse, if he ever really understood it in the first place, and turned to his superior.

"I'm not getting one?"

His own voice had a sharp edge that the others heard only in extreme situations, and never with any of them, even the ever-deserving Gibbs, and his eyes glinted in a way that made even Kate sit back in her chair.

"You _heard_what I _said, _DiNozzo, now drop it."

_Ohhh, are you kidding me? _Tony couldn't believe what the man was telling him.

"Wait a sec. You're trying to - tell me what I can and can't do in my personal life?"

"Anthony," Ducky interrupted, seeing where his innocent question was leading the two men. "It was merely an inquiry, let it go, _please."_

Tony looked over at the M.E., his friend and often his staunchest ally in his often tumultuous tenure with Gibbs, and his posture lost some of its stiffness. He had never known his mother's father, and barely remembered his grandfather on his father's side, and Ducky had become a surrogate one to him. He could not deny the man anything, even if it meant backing down from what Tony considered a legitimate fight with Gibbs. He settled back down into the cafe chair, and picked at his salad, not looking at any of them now, and re-grouped his angry thoughts. Okay, so Gibbs didn't want him to have a motorcycle, but who was _he_to dictate his private life, he already dictated Tony's every working moment.

Seeing the fight go out of his young friend, Ducky went back to his own meal, hoping sincerely that this was the end to his well-intentioned scheme.

"I mean it, DiNozzo, you show up to work on one, you might as well turn it around and go home, you won't be working for _me_anymore."

Wowser. Did he just hear what he thought he heard? Could Gibbs actually _fire_him for buying and driving a motorcycle? Hell, of _course_he couldn't, but he could get him transferred off his team to God knows where, and if angry enough, that God-knows-where would be the farthest-flung, seediest, coldest NCIS post known to humankind.  
Tony's blood boiled and he drew in long, deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. Ducky and Kate watched him warily, but Gibbs had gone back to eating his steak and fries as if the world was back in order after his ultimatum to his agent.

"Well, then." Tony announced lightly, his game face plastered back on. "I'd better get back and see if Abby sent me anything on that sample I gave her yesterday. Lots of new technology since they ran it the first time."

He wiped his mouth with his napkin, threw fifteen dollars from his wallet into the middle of the table, and walked away.

Ducky and Kate eyed each other nervously while Gibbs blithely finished his own lunch.

"Well! I must be getting back also, Agent Balboa's dead CPO awaits."

He dished out money for his meal, gave Gibbs a threatening look that was totally ignored, and smiled sadly at Kate, who was busy making her own exit. It was only moments later when Gibbs was alone and had paid and tipped the waiter that the lead agent slammed his coffee cup down on the table and stalked back to the bullpen, the thunderous look on his face making passers-by sidestep him in avoidance.

*************  
Back in the MCRT bullpen, it was if nothing had happened at lunch other than a pleasant outing with co-workers - at least as far as Tony and Kate were concerned. Tony chose to act as if he had not lost his temper with his boss, something Kate had never witnessed before, and he knew it had unsettled her. He didn't believe in making an uncomfortable atmosphere for fellow workers due to personal problems, even if those personal problems stemmed from their mutual boss, so he kept his slow burn just that, slow and undercover.

Anyways, what did _he_carethat Gibbs threatened to toss him off the team if he showed up sporting a new motorcycle, he had no intention of purchasing one anyhow. He wondered where Ducky came up with the idea, he couldn't ever remember mentioning such a thing to the M.E., but it was inspired thinking, nonetheless. He hadn't expected such a rise out of Gibbs, figured the man would grunt and say something like "If you plaster yourself out on the beltway on that thing, don't come running to me." and then take a chug of coffee. Not the knee-jerk, visceral response growled so fiercely it sent a shiver through Tony's spine.

And why would Gibbs even _care_if he drove a motorcycle to work, or anywhere else? He had been doing nothing but baiting and taunting Tony with cheap shots about his abilities as a federal agent the past few days, as if he were tired of the man and wanted him to quit his team so he wouldn't have to be bothered with the paperwork of transferring him himself. Tony was no stranger to mercurial mood swings, having grown up with rather emotionally unstable parents, but at least then he could just go to his room and lock them out until they swung back to bearable behavior.

Here at work he had no choice - it was either work with the man or work for someone else, and Tony had set his mind on staying on Gibb's team and learning all he could from him. But days like the last few made him shake his head and wonder what he could have possibly been thinking. Maybe Gibbs just wanted the opportunity to end Tony himself, instead of just letting him be scraped up off the pavement.

Whatever Gibb's motives were, Tony wasn't expecting to figure them out anytime soon, so he settled back to work at his computer, trying to ignore the furtive, concerned looks from his partner across from him.

"_What,_Kate, what do you want to know?" he finally asked, nearly shouting, but not looking up from his work. "No, I am not typing up a letter of resignation, or filling out an application for Fornell."

"Are you really going to get a bike?"

"What?" Why was she asking such a stupid question, of _course _he wasn't going to...

"No, Katie, I am not going to get a bike. Not today, not next week, not ever."

"But Ducky said -"

"Ducky misunderstood. Sometimes he does."

"Gibbs was really pissed at the thought. I think you scared him, Tony, he went a little off-color when Ducky mentioned it, and his eyes, they got this weird kinda - I dunno what you'd call it, but for him, it was - weird."

This got Tony's full attention, and he looked up from his keyboard.

"Gibbs scared? About me buying it on a motorcycle? Kate, where have you _been_the last three days, he hasn't had a decent word to say to me since Tuesday, don't you think you read a little too much into it?"

"I'm a _profiler, _Tony, I can read people, even Gibbs. And he was scared about you driving a motorcycle, that's why he threatened you with that ultimatum. Maybe he knew somebody who got killed on one, maybe he was there, or -"

"Maybe he just had an excuse to yank my chain and see if I'd snap, just drop it, okay? I don't _care_why he threatened me, it's just one more in a long line of them this week, along with some severe head slaps. Just let me work on this, I'm really close to finding a great lead and I need to concentrate."

"Fine. Just thought your angsty, juvenile self would want to know that Ducky hit a nerve in our boss. Not something you see every day. Or ever."

"Huh, well, maybe it was gas. He ate a lot of those fries with his coffee."

She snickered, and knew that she was getting nowhere trying to make her insecure partner understand what had just happened between Gibbs and him, so went back to her own work, deciding to let things be what they would be. Only moments later, Gibbs stormed off the elevator, a wad of some sort of papers in his hand, and tossed them onto his SFA's desk top. They were glossy 8x11 photos, about a half-dozen, in color and sporting what looked like lots of blood and some serious gore as they slid and settled across Tony's work space.

"That's what I'll be looking at when the LEOs call me to come ID what's left of you." Gibbs grated, leaning over Tony's desk with both arms. "I already live with enough nightmares. Don't make me have to worry about you _off-duty _too."

He straightened himself and strode over the stairs to head up to the Director's office, leaving two stunned agents in his wake. Tony gathered up the glossies, not wanting to have to keep looking at them so soon after lunch, and tossed them into his trash can. Kate didn't mention the slight tremble she saw in his hands and the deer in the headlights look in his eyes.

"_Told ya,_Dinozzo. He's just got a weird way of showing it."

"Well how the hell am _I_supposed to know, he runs so damn hot and cold on me all the time!" Tony groused, genuinely annoyed that Gibbs could be so difficult to read when it came to his emotions.

"Hunh, no kidding! What is it they say about things you see in other people that bother you? 'You spot it, you got it'? You two are like peas in pod when it comes to that. Just when I think I've got something figured out in _you,_you turn me on my ear with something totally out of left-field!" She got up from her desk and leaned over his the same way Gibbs had, her voice more quiet and mellow now. "Deal with it, Tony. He cares about you, more than he wants to. Cut him some slack and tell him you're not buying that stupid bike."

Tony sighed impatiently, ready to tell Kate _once again_that he was never going to go shopping for motorcycles in the first place, that it was a figment of Ducky's imagination in an effort to goad their boss into revealing something that Tony knew deep down and instinctively anyways, but he bit his tongue and changed his course.

"Alright, Katie, I'll tell him. No bike buying. Not even test-driving, touching, ogling, or mentioning them." He could tell by the look on Kate's face that she clearly didn't want to contemplate having to deal with the aftermath of him offing himself out on the highways, either. Suddenly he felt sort of warm and fuzzy, and his prior testiness and frustration dissipated. Ducky had been right, after all, even if he _had_chosen a rather volatile subject to prove his point. "Not even bicycles, unicycles or tricycles. Not even a skateboard."

"_Alright,_DiNozzo, I get the picture!" There was a slight pause, then, "Although I _would_really like to see you test-driving a tricycle."

"Yeah, he'd probably have a catastrophe on _that_thing, too." Gibbs chimed in, coming around the corner of the divider into the bullpen and heading for his desk.

""Tell him, Tony."

Tony harrumphed, a little tired of the subject of something he hadn't had any interest in since college. He himself was well-aware of how dangerous it was to navigate the D.C. roadways on a motorcycle, and was not willing to sacrifice himself to the pavement for a joyride on one. And he didn't exactly like Kate telling him what to do, either.

"I'm not going to buy a bike, Boss." he ground out. "Everybody can just calm down and get back to work and stop worrying about having to peel me off the pavement. Never was gonna buy the damned thing in the first place." he finished the last sentence under his breath.

"What was that, DiNozzo?"

"Just said I wouldn't wipe out on a tricycle, Boss."

"Yeah. Right. We're _done _with this subject, right, Tony?"

"Oh, we're _so-o_done with it, Boss. I'm heading down to see Abby. She just emailed me about my lead."

Tony stood up from his desk to head down to the Goth's lab, but not before taking the time to look over at his boss's desk. Somehow knowing that Tony was eying him, Gibbs looked up, and the two of them traded quick, but meaningful glances, which Kate's profiler/detective mind attempted to decipher. She decided it went something along the lines of:

"Hey boss. Thought maybe you'd finally had it with me and wanted me somewhere else. Guess I was wrong. Thanks for letting me know you care, in your own gruff way."

"Hey, kid. Sorry I've been taking stuff out on you, I've had some other issues to deal with that I can't talk to ya about, but please don't think I don't care what happens to you, even if I don't know how to show it."

She huffed a small laugh to herself, and wished the two of them could eventually learn to communicate their feelings in actual words, but she didn't hold out much hope. After over two years together, Tony _still_got Gibb's personal feelings signals all botched up, and Gibbs still thought his meanings were coming across loud and clear to the younger man. Oh well, they would just have to keep stumbling through like always and hopefully not kill each other along the way, a functional mute leading the emotionally blind.


End file.
